Hole In My Heart

I feel better when I'm insane,
Because I don't have to feel the pain.
I'm trying to wipe the memories away,
And running toward that dying day.
Why is it the faster I run,
God above says "I'm not done".
He wants me to face the pain,
And dump this insanity down the drain.
I've always had faith in him,
But struggled to keep the faith within.
I gave up on myself long ago,
Stopped caring about which way to go,
Stopped worrying about losing control,
In the end I'll pay the toll.
To cross that bridge to the other side,
Where I'll lay myself down to die.
But my body will only be asleep,
While everyone I love will stop and weep.
And maybe read my cries for help,
And pray my soul stays out of hell.